sperm whale poop, senator and farts – goodness^{2}

i’m sorry but the world is one weird place .. it’s actually getting weirder even as i type this – i’m struggling during the day – normal work activity, to contain my amazement at the strange ideas that zoom past my brain, some go in, some just float on by. i can’t tell you what i do, well i do it well, but i can say that the foder for the fictional “my con” character just keeps on keeping on ( an australian tv commercial reference ) and i have to restrict my cynical fanciful raves on this subject, suffice to say that when time permits, i will ramp up the frustration, incredulity ( some big words ) and blast the “blogasphere” with some good old fashioned shit !! talking of shit i fell out of my hugely expensive company car when i heard this on the radio, yes it’s pensioner 612 again, good news, with fatuous content in between the good bits. any-who here it is verbatim from the abc online news here

A study has found that instead of increasing carbon levels through respiration, the sperm whale offsets its emissions by defecating.

Flinders University researcher Trish Lavery says the poo is rich in iron, which stimulates phytoplankton to grow, and that traps the carbon dioxide.

“They’ve certainly gone past the carbon-neutral status that we all attain to and they’re actually sinking more carbon from the atmosphere each year into the deep ocean … than what they add to the atmosphere when they respire,” she said.

“It’s just like manuring your garden. When these sperm whales defecate on the phytoplankton, that causes them to grow and bloom, and like all plants they take in carbon when they grow.

“This carbon build-up is certainly another unexplored facet of whaling. If we hadn’t decreased sperm whale populations from their historical levels, we’d have an extra about two million tonnes of carbon being pulled out of our atmosphere every single year and being sunk to the deep oceans.”

According to this research, the whales can remove about 400,000 tonnes of carbon from the atmosphere each year, more than double the amount they add, making the sperm whale a carbon-neutral mammal.

ok so that’s fair enough, could we translate some of that gas emission thinking to other occupants of the planet,  i fart – do you? would you like to maybe catch/capture some of these farts and release them into a specifically design window box or garden bed in your kitchen ? i know the transfer of the product might be a bit embarrassing, but you would ( and so would your neighbours soon enough ) get used to it. in fact public transport could install special buttock contoured ( sorry no extra obese people ) seats and funnels to trap the much valued odorous effluent for later use. a special tax could be applied to those who don’t fart in an approved receptacle, not a goods and services tax – gst, butt ( pun intended ) a bbt or bottom burp tax !! good idea hey ? and since he’s an irrelevant waste of a senators wage, maybe steve fielding, who raised abortion in a debate about paid parental leave, should be the face of such a campaign – raise piles of money – fart on senator steve – hooray i’m off for a jet powered swim with the whales.

By tbaoo Category: featured, life Tags: bottom burp tax, fart, piles of money, sperm whale, steve feilding