You can never have enough preparation. Whether it’s the avenging hand of Christ, a runaway asteroid hurtling towards Earth, or a full-blown zombie invasion taking over your town; having the right insurance in place can ensure that you rebuild your future without the hassle and expense.
Here’s a rundown of some of the more bonkers doomsday insurance services lurking about on the web, which have been selected in order for you to find the one that best suits your needs.
The Rapture is when Jesus will come into the air, catch the Church and take it back to heaven with him. To Christians this is a glorious time, but what about the family pets?
If you’re an atheist, or belong to any other religion which isn’t Christianity, then After the Rapture Pet Care has a service in place where you can offer your home to the pets of God-fearing Christians once they leave earth after the rapture.
But won’t the world be ridden with flames and destruction in the wake of the rapture? Apparently not. There’ll be a time of temporary peace, courtesy of the anti-Christ. Nice of him.
They claim to be a real service, which is hard to believe. The real mystery, though, is how much business they’ve had since 21st May 2011.
2012 Apocalypse Insurance
It has been foretold (according to Western interpretations of the Mayan prophecy) that the apocalypse will take place on 21 December 2012. It’s not guaranteed exactly what will happen on that date, so the 2012 Apocalypse Insurance coverage will protect against anything from alien invasion, planetary collisions, nuclear Armageddon’s and zombie attacks, just to name a few.
Insurance is affordable and you receive a certificate to prove that you are completely covered. Of course this is for entertainment purposes only, so you doomers will have to find an alternative way of getting covered.
Doomsday Insurance will offer you apocalyptic cover for one year including a zombie survival sheet, certificate of insurance and an identification card. The policy will cover all damage caused by zombies. Doomsday Insurance will work with you once everything returns to normal and offers to assist you in rebuilding your home; including the new Zombieguard fencing, which adds extra security should the undead attack again.
In the first instance of a zombie attack, you will need to call your agent. If phone lines are down, try emailing and, if all else fails, don’t leave your home; someone will be along to ensure you are still alive when they can. Bear in mind that you mustn’t burn the zombie until the agent arrives to confirm your claim.
Zaico is the Zombie Apocalypse Insurance Company offering full coverage from rebuilding to recovery. You can rest assured that you will get ammunition, restocking and zombie incineration services. This basically means they will get rid of all the zombie bodies you have lying around, along with medical treatment, repairing or replacing your home, relocation services and reinforcement if needed.
The bonus to this insurance policy is you don’t have to phone in, should you be savaged by a zombie attack. The Zaico belief is that it will be on the news and Zaico personnel will automatically be dispatched. Should you still be alive and have zombie bodies to prove you have suffered an attack; then rest assured that your ass is covered.
Oh, and you get a certificate and insurance card to show to all your friends.
Alien Invasion Insurance enables all clients to be prepared when aliens walk the earth. You never know what to expect in an alien invasion, but the customer services team is on hand to provide a hassle free service after the event.
Enjoy a range of great policies from a lifetime of cover to family plans, all complete with gift certificate. These are ideal as fun gifts for friends and family.