apple

Aug 7, 2011

how much is too much not much {14}

it’s official, i’m confused. i have wi-fi, bluetooth, carpet burns from scurrying about underneath my desk connecting things and i still don’t know how to facetime somebody. i do realise that i need to call someone with an iphone 4 ( like me ) or indeed an apple computer with the new lion system.

well i’ve tried every bloody thing to no avail ….. ?

but aside from this rumbling today, i have pursued my wish to make a shit load of money, you may know dear reader that i have expensive tastes, but not the expense account to pay for it. i have expanded my dabblings with the following:

www.google.com/affiliatenetwork

www.google.com/adsense

www.triberr.com

www.clickbank.com

www.yousaytoo.com

www.shetoldme.com

www.ihavetoearnashitloadofmoney.com ( i made that up )

and where has this wrangling of desperation got me, well not very far other than spreading the word of tbaoo and making a connection, a “friends in the cyber world kind of way” with a shit load of wonderful people. i have mumbled across this topic before, but i have to stress this really is an amazing path, this blogging business, i hope it brings joy to the world and those who appreciate the nonsense of tbaoo.com.

to those who wish to pay me loads of money i might even place a pleading donate button, no – not really, i won’t do that .. i’m free in my views. but dear reader, if you want to explore the advertising offered please get funky with it and buy something, although i might get some money if you just click. go on just click !!

desperate pleading aside, i enjoy tbaoo – i hope you do. here’s a photo to help celebrate ..

By tbaoo Category: featured, why ? Tags: , , ,

Aug 26, 2010

apple offers very poor service {11}

it’s official – i tried to today, in two seperate ways, to buy an iphone 4 .. do you think i could NO !! well fuck me !!

the first option and in my humble, yet angry opinion, the best deal going around (at least for me ) in australia is the optus $59.00 per month deal, nothing up front, i.e. no money upfront for the phone, you just pay $59.oo per month. i went online to order it ( online even included 2 free months and free access to facebook and twitter #tbaootweets ) but alas no bloody phones in stock. dissappointed YES !!

so next idea, only because the bride’s away and i’m going off to do some grocery shopping, i try the apple robina store. friendly young man shakes my hand, like i’m his dead uncle giving him the keys to the family fortune and then races off to check that they can, READ WILL, sell me an iphone 4 on the $59.00 deal through optus ( not an outright purchase ), he comes back proudly stating of course they can – here’s “not the best business customer service decision” i’ve ever been involved in .. only if i come back tomorrow and line up at 9.00 am, i’m standing aghast, with the australia’s national debt in my trousers, or at least ready access to it, ready, obviously keen as evident by the category and many posts on tbaoo, to buy an iphone 4, yet - NO – go away, we don’t want you to buy it now, we will tell you when you can buy an apple iphone 4 .. FUCK OFF !! of course i realise they don’t know my backstory, but you just don’t do that to customers, unless of course you’re apple, it seems.

so unbeknownst to this young man of course, who by the way was cracking his knuckles like a gypsy knife throwing expert possesed,  tbaoo had recently bought an imac and iwork and stood tall and proud ready to purchase then next “must have” fashion, tech fan accessory .. an iphone 4. i want the one with antenna troubles, camera problems and apparently glass that breaks pretty easily, yes i know, even though i’ve read and heard of these issues, i want one, can i have one .. NO.

so what do i do now, i wait ?? - i wonder if that’s that next piece of technology from apple – an iwait, well, i’d call it iwon’tfuckingwait. ( calm, alan, it’ll be alright )

photo credit

By tbaoo Category: featured, iphone Tags: , , , , , , , ,

Jul 30, 2010

my queue needs no apple {0}

as odd as it might seem, although not too odd for tbaoo though me thinks .. i walked by the robina town centre apple store today and was fraught with concern that i’d not waited in line like the scores of souls who had !! i just kick myself, ( a lot ) that i didn’t have my entry level paparazzi dslr  .. i would have peeled off a few and then placed them here for free so you the reader could enjoy, and then sold the remainder to the local media. their view on the event was here .. pitiful twats who can only relate to an interest in technology in the vastly overused description of geek. what ? are the local fat slob journo types ( both boys and girls ) all sprouting sporting jocks, blokey and blokette, social behemoths .. shit they’re just piss weak. if you want to know what happens in the world it’s better to experience it yourself and disbelieve, or bring at least 80% of scepticism to the material thrust upon you, even check the date !! they’ve been know to get that wrong.

to make matters worse i think i want to work at apple, i went to school ( unbelievable but true ) and a fellow from school ended up working at the factory / head office of apple in sydney, he was cool, long haired, had a name that sung and worked for a company that no one knew anything at all of what the frugality is a personal computer or an even and apple ? we grew older, i grew ruder and who knows where he is now. he could be running the show and might give me a job ( no not that job ) any-who, i’ve decided that i should apply and that’s that. next step, prepare a word document resume, using a helpful template .. and send it with the help of my outlook program, which is conveniently pre loaded on my pc. send all of this to aol in america with a redirect request via share to apple in america. simple, swift and with the help of adobe and power point i’ll have a beautiful  presentation ready for their edification !!!! long live the optimism of a tbaoo !!

if you’d like to start a career at apple – maybe design and/or invent something we don’t know we need or want yet, please go to this website and follow the prompts, don’t follow mine, you’ll only end up here at tbaoo and i don’t pay much …. YET !!

http://www.apple.com/jobs/us/

By tbaoo Category: featured, iphone Tags: , , , ,

Jul 18, 2010

australian iphone 4 is calling {14}

well – it’s out of the bag now, the release date, apparently !! here in australia is 30th July 2010. steve jobs has decreed as such !! he did say the phone was going to be $100.00 i think when the first launched in the us, oh well –  that can’t be right. to conteract the fact that smart phones aren’t all that smart, the iphone 4 will be sold complete with a $29.00 bumper to overcome the shorting out your hand provides, if you dare hold  it to make a call. i read somewhere that apple likes fridays for it’s product launches? and that here in australia, the customers who were forced (strong words, coerced might be better ) to sign up for 2 years are coming out of their contracts .. so it will be crisp and sharp in waiting, to see see what offers there are and how much i’ll have to pay.

regarding the so called death grip, your hand connects the deliberately separate section ( or gap in the one,  if you think of it that way ) of metal that is forming the aerial. if you place alfoil on your head the reception is improved by 30%, in fact if you do this while standing at the check out counter at the robina town centre apple store here on the gold coast i’m sure you’ll make the news, but that might not be for your brilliant reception, but the sheer silliness of your attire. if any one causes any grief for you – say that you read this nonsense on tbaoo.com, the security guy and i still have an arrangement !!

well it don’t matter, i’m still going to buy one !! it will have a bumper and a skin to prevent any damage. for details and to view the most riveting piece of video technology and the strangest infomercial i’ve ever seen in a long while, check this out.  actually it is remarkably simple and has me tweaked enough to post it here – well done larry greenberg …

i hope this cynical ranting and space, bogey men, phone repair suggestion doesn’t affect my wish to have an apple affiliate program.

this afternoon after watching larry rivet the shit out of me with his slight of hand gestures, i watched a more productive film called inner space on australia’s national broadcaster the abc, the 24 news is coming soon did i say that ?  well any-who, the inner space documentary, features john lautner – an architect of truly beautiful houses and buildings. this isn’t the place to accurately describe just how good they are , actually when i say good, i mean that i think they’re good. you would have to see for youself .. if i had an obscene amount of money, i’d be looking to buy silvertop, check them all out at the john lautner foundation – fantastic stuff !!

maybe with my yet to be purchased iphone 4 and my yet to be secured affiliate program, i’ll cut such a striking figure at the robina town centre apple store, and without alfoil on my head … i’ll make a shit load of money. here’s hoping !!

By tbaoo Category: featured, iphone Tags: , , ,

Jun 20, 2010

apple iphone addiction {19}

oh alright then – i’m addicted  !!!

well what has happened ( your honour ) is that i’ve been grabbed firmly by the shorts into believing that i must have an apple consumer item … crazy i hear you say – but it’s true,  i recently bought the imac and i’m a convert. even to the extent that my continual “popping” into the new apple store is becoming ridiculous – the security guy knows how i like to have my coffee for shits sake. it’s sad how my poor excuse for a life, has fallen to such depths – i.e. typing ( poorly ) at this keyboard, posting exquisitely banal ( that’s like a bum with a “b” in front of it ) rants about my body … note !! these are all symptoms of, but not the actual disease.

your worship, an apple iphone will complete me as a human being, make me look better to members of the opposite sex, ( or same, if they fancy a bit of old and fat-man ) provide an inch or two ( in height or the other i’m easy ) and will help me to look really cool as i answer my new apple iphone – phone. the fact that i have no friends and only make two calls a week and maybe !!  if i’m feeling very communicative, receive one call a week, but the volume of calls isn’t why you buy an iphone is it? the thing just fits my pocket so well – how would i know that you ask ?  well how’d you think the security guy knows my taste in coffee so well, it’s just that he’s bought me a few while waiting for the police to arrest me for nicking the last 8 iphones. i did get away with one, but the fun stopper ( copper or police ) wanted that for his girlfriend sharon, he did let me off though.

i can’t help myself … so please send me the money to actually buy one .. drop me a line and i’ll send you my bank details, my address, my most recent ( cleanly shaved ) photo and any other details you require to create a new identity for me – i need one …. photos courtesy ( right clicked from )  www.apple.com

By tbaoo Category: featured, iphone Tags: , ,