Apr 27, 2012
alrighty then – i wait. i sit here waiting, indeed i spend my whole freak’n life waiting. waiting for what, you ask – well i hope you do. i wait for my alien buddies to come and take me home. i’m sick and tired of putting up with you humans, you’re a bunch of weirdos, freaks and numb nuts. not all nuts of course, some nuts feel just fine. want more ?
Jul 14, 2010
i heard this on the radio today and after returning to my allocated lane, wiping vomit from my stubble i decided to post this amazing recording here on tbaoo – please enjoy, please us it as your ring tone and please leave my music collection alone – of course in bold capital letters, i still want an iphone.
Jun 20, 2010
oh alright then – i’m addicted !!!
well what has happened ( your honour ) is that i’ve been grabbed firmly by the shorts into believing that i must have an apple consumer item … crazy i hear you say – but it’s true, i recently bought the imac and i’m a convert. even to the extent that my continual “popping” into the new apple store is becoming ridiculous – the security guy knows how i like to have my coffee for shits sake. it’s sad how my poor excuse for a life, has fallen to such depths – i.e. typing ( poorly ) at this keyboard, posting exquisitely banal ( that’s like a bum with a “b” in front of it ) rants about my body … note !! these are all symptoms of, but not the actual disease.
your worship, an apple iphone will complete me as a human being, make me look better to members of the opposite sex, ( or same, if they fancy a bit of old and fat-man ) provide an inch or two ( in height or the other i’m easy ) and will help me to look really cool as i answer my new apple iphone – phone. the fact that i have no friends and only make two calls a week and maybe !! if i’m feeling very communicative, receive one call a week, but the volume of calls isn’t why you buy an iphone is it? the thing just fits my pocket so well – how would i know that you ask ? well how’d you think the security guy knows my taste in coffee so well, it’s just that he’s bought me a few while waiting for the police to arrest me for nicking the last 8 iphones. i did get away with one, but the fun stopper ( copper or police ) wanted that for his girlfriend sharon, he did let me off though.
i can’t help myself … so please send me the money to actually buy one .. drop me a line and i’ll send you my bank details, my address, my most recent ( cleanly shaved ) photo and any other details you require to create a new identity for me – i need one …. photos courtesy ( right clicked from ) www.apple.com
