this way mr president {15}
hey there to you dear reader, i’m sorry but i’ve been very busy and offline for a little while. it’s been a secretive, frantic, well respected, fully armed few days while i’ve been escorting my new email buddy mr president – barack obama all about australia. he helped me to win the right to host the 2018 commonwealth games of course, but i couldn’t say anything until he flew out, that happened today – so my life can return to normal. normal is as normal does and normal is profound.
i was very lucky to be chosen to provide an offbeat, sometimes cheeky tour of our wide brown land and was thrilled that he and the 847 strength fully armed support crew enjoyed themselves as well. the dogs had a ball.
talking of balls, the junior secret service section especially enjoyed the tantalising adult entertainment i had organised, they had a firm grip on the entertainment, if you know what i mean. the pilot had to drink lemonade but made up for it on the dance floor, while the guy carrying the “football” actually lost it for 40 minutes, but luckily the hells angels bouncers convinced a dribblingly drunk public servant to give it back, the silly old bugger had grabbed it by mistake. he won’t be riding a motorcycle ever again unfortunately, he’s now even more legless, a lot more than he was when he first walked into the club.
barack had some serious stuff to do of course, but you won’t see me lurking in the background, i had to remain completely invisible. something i found rather difficult but managed to do it, our pm julia gillard was wondering what i kept so secretive, but when i explained it to her and her partner they understood. in fact the pm’s partner ( the first bloke ) had to walk home from parliament house to the lodge, because my travel plans and associated security protocols had turned his driving home into a right royal pain in the bum. he’d had a beer or three as well i think, so it was better that he walked.
so now that i’m back on the gold coast, mr president free, i present a wonderful video, kindly given to tbaoo by those co-operative folks at http://www.whitehouse.gov it shows just how relaxed my little tour guide efforts have worked their magic and i will now open my skills to other world leaders, well to those that fit a reasonably strict criteria. i may announce details of this stringent application process or i may not. i can’t let the cat out of the bag just yet, as i have to screen those who may still be standing after recent economic events.
my parting gift to mr b, was a pair of ugg boots and some tim tam biscuits for his girls, while the secret service juniors took home their own lasting memories of their visit down under. photo credit
