Sometime ago I was given the task to provide 10 things that you’d hate about me. How in the blazes can I do that ? You do love me don’t you ? In fact I hope you do. Now on to this unbelievable notion that there are 10 things you’d hate about me.
1. I have far too much hair and spend an obscene amount of time removing it.
2. I eat enough food to feed a small welsh village.
3. I have the smallest male appendage you’d think humanly possible, I’ve had to attach a length of string to it, so I can find it when an urgent twinkle is required and that is far too often by the way.
4. I can’t have a discussion without finishing their sentences, hurry the fuck up will you.
5. I’m very good looking in an old, fat, grumpy man kind of way.
6. I can’t stand people who can’t stand me.
7. I’ve been blessed by the Pope, or at least that’s what she said her name was, and that’s what she called that extremely strange and dangerously personal exchange of body fluids.
8. I struggle to concentrate on anything that bores me.
9. I’m bored very easily – just what is this stupid list for anyway.
10. That I won’t pass this list onto anyone else.
So dear reader, it seems that 10 things wasn’t that hard after all.
