Alrighty then – I wait. I sit here waiting, indeed I spend my whole freak’n life waiting. Waiting for what, you ask, well I hope you do. I wait for my alien buddies to come and take me home. I’m sick and tired of putting up with you humans, you’re a bunch of weirdos, freaks and numb nuts. Not all nuts of course, some nuts feel just fine. You are so nuts so I have to leave.
It’s the incessant ramblings of my fellow inhabitants of this so called Earth that make me to want to go home. My home planet is warm, sunny, no politicians and everyone’s a multi millionaire. We have a working class who are grown to do our biding and conduct their affairs, and even have some with us – if they’re still in good nick. The older ones do things like cook, clean floors, walls, ovens and grills, cut hair and wash cars. The younger ones model fine clothes, drive us about, while some drive us all the way. Some even wash cars while wearing their swimming outfits.
The humans I’ve met lately and especially talked with today were really a varied bunch, somewhat dim, lacked a sense of questioning and were completely brainless. I can’t identify which were which of course, but I know who you are and your card is marked. The only redeeming feature is that you will get the sludge of a public office bearer you promoted and in some cases worked for.
There is one particularly dim witted mullet who can’t grasp the parking of his shit box car in the designated car spaces. In between the lines and all the way in, i.e. don’t have your fat arsed bum sticking out in the way of other vehicles. Oh and by the way good luck with your future career, it won’t be as an elected representative, that’s for sure.
Some of the future elected representatives were out for the last two weeks at the pre polling booths. Those confused and incredibly naive individuals with their brainless followers were like seagulls at the beach. Along came a human and whack they’re up and running, flapping, squawking and screeching at the poor soul, thinking that their behaviour would sway their vote. The shit they left all over the place could also be described as normal seagull behaviour.
Alright – when do my friends arrive and what will I wear, I’m used to wearing clothes after my time here on earth. What will they think of my current psychical condition? My music is loaded on my iPhone, iMac ( yes it’s coming with me ), my iPod and I’ll be off then.
I might be back, it depends of the grand poo bar of my home planet. If she doesn’t like my newly absorbed fat globules, I might be returned back to spread my joy with you dear reader. I’m frightened to think that I might have to ask …”take me to your leader”
